Name Optional
by vballr217
Summary: You all read stories about what it is like to be the Jonas Sister. How they're usually abused or orphaned and how they are so excited about getting to move in with the Jonas family. Well, that's not this story.


"Mackenzie, what do-"

"Rebecca. My name is Rebecca, not Mackenzie."

The woman who had been trying to pick at my brain for the past hour straighten up in her seat. She looked uncomfortable, and while a few months ago I would have felt bad, I was too fed up to feel any discomfort.

"Why are you afraid of the name, Mackenzie?"

My eyebrows rose at her question. "What are you talking about?"

"Every time, no matter the conversation, whenever the name comes up you are quick to divert all attention to the fact that isn't you name."

I interrupt her accusation. "Well, it's not."

"My point is, you are adamant on making sure everyone around you knows it's not either. Why is that?"

This woman was annoying me as much as the people I was living with were.

"Because it's not my name."

"I get that, but I also think it's something more than just a name to you. Most people when someone mispronounces their name or says something different they just correct it and move on. You, on the other hand, will remain antsy and frustrated throughout the rest of the conversation."

"Are you trying to piss me off? Because the annoying questions are definitely leading to that."

She chuckles in a patronizing way. "I'm not trying to do that at all. I'm just trying to see the real issue."

"What's the issue? My name is not Mackenzie. My name is Rebecca. It's been Rebecca for fifteen years, and just because some people want to show me a document with some words on it that say otherwise it doesn't mean it is going to change who I am."

"So the name Mackenzie is a new identity for you?"

I stare blankly at the woman and began to ponder on her words. "What?"

"You didn't say that your name would be changed, you said that you would change."

"Well that's what they want."

Her eyes peer out of her glasses as she looks at me. "Who is they?"

"Hmm... well let's see. My 'family'- if I have to call them that, the media is having a field day with it, everyone at my school... old and new…" My voice begins to trail off under my breathe. "Hell, the goddamn UN is probably having a discussion on it right now."

"So, you feel as if pretty much everyone in your life is trying to change you?"

Finally she gets it.

"Yes!" I exclaim as I throw my hands up in the air.

She sits back in her chair and folds her arms while looking directly at me.

"Well, who are you?"

"Huh?"

"Who are you? You say that everyone is trying to change you, but I want to know who you are right now, excluding anyone else."

"Well, I'm not Mackenzie Denise Jonas if that's what you want me to say."

She shook her head and leaned towards me in a compassionate way. "I don't want to know who you're not. I want to know, in your words, who you are?"

I open my mouth to answer, but then pause. I know what everyone back home wants me to say. I know what everyone here wants me to say. Hell, I know what I want to say, but would I really mean any of it? Over the past few months, I've constantly been told who I was, who I wasn't, what to do, what not to do and meanwhile never figuring out anything for myself. I let this journey become both self-discovery and destruction. I became the person I always wanted to be and never wanted to be. The fact was, I had no idea what the answer to this question was and until I did I would stay in the exact place I'm in. Lost.

I inhale and exhale a deep breath before stating the words that would be the first step in taking my life back into my own hands. "I'm just me. The name's optional."

* * *

><p><strong>Four Months Earlier<strong>

"Beck, you've got five more minutes to get down here or your phone is mine for the day!"

The pillow I currently had over my head couldn't suffice the noise of my mother any longer. I rolled over to check my phone, as any American teenager does when they first wake up. 6:57 A.M.

"Shit." I hissed under my breath as I looked at the time that reminded me of the dreaded notion that I had been trying to forget, it was my first day of tenth grade.

I slowly rolled out of bed, my final attempt to defy my mom before having to try and be pleasant for the day. I didn't bother looking in the mirror before heading out of my room. I knew the only person who would be in the kitchen was her considering my dad's apartment was fifteen minutes away, and she had broken up with her boyfriend, Jake, a few months ago. I almost thought we would be hearing bells with him until Mom found out his bell got around.

"You know you would never take my phone." I said as I walked into the kitchen, scrolling through my Twitter timeline. From my chair at our kitchen counter, I could only see my mom's dirty blonde hair facing me as she cooked at the stove. "You would be too paranoid that I died on the way walking to Chem." I noted with a sarcastic tint to my voice.

She turned around, spatula in her right hand and a coffee cup in her left.

"It still got you downstairs though." She smiled her award winning smile that my dad still melts at the sight of it. "Good Morning sweetie... or should I say Miss. Tenth Grader!"

"God Mom, do you really have to be so cheesy right now?"

"Of course. It's in the mom handbook. I have to feed you a few meals a week, buy you ridiculously overpriced tee-shirts when you "have to have them", and most of all be incredibly cheesy and endearing on your first day of school." She came around the counter and gave me an overly dramatic kiss on my forehead. "So, hon, are eggs good?"

I rolled my eyes at her antics as she cackled in response and returned to the stove.

"Yeah, I mean you're already making them so it wasn't really a question, more so you informing me what I was going to be eating, right?"

"Damn, you are catching onto to how this parenting thing works fast!" She scrambled the eggs. "Are you excited for today?"

I shrugged my shoulders as I walked over to open my fridge. "I guess. Nothing really that exciting."

I roamed through the cartons of 'Organic' this and 'Low-Fat' that before I was able to find my no pulp freshly squeezed Simply Orange Juice.

"The only real difference between this year and last is if I get lost I can't blame it on anything than my stupid sense of direction."

Mom raised an eyebrow. "Don't go into this year thinking negatively already. You'll have Jess by your side, you have an amazing outfit that an entire shoot's salary, and you are a great person. You'll be just fine."

I took a gulp of my juice before replying to my mother's idea of helpful guidance. "Awesome mom, being a great person is sure to get me to the top of the social ladder. Terrific advice, you know you should really consider adding therapist on as your third job. You could take a picture of the person, sell them a house, and give them the answers to all their problems!"

She glared at me as she passed me the plate of eggs. "Thirty minutes."

I turned on my heel and headed towards the stairs up to my room.

"Bec?"

I raised my eyebrows in acknowledgement.

"Lose the attitude before you get back down here."

I gave a thumbs up in response, knowing she would have preferred a verbal answer, and headed to make myself picture perfect for my sophomore year.

* * *

><p>I took one final glance in my mirror before deeming myself appropriate to make human contact. I was actually proud of myself that I had only changed my outfit once before deciding to go back to my original plan of my new romper and cardigan. I usually change around three to four times and have never gone with my first outfit of choice so this was a glorious occasion. I grabbed my backpack from off the corner of my bed before heading back downstairs where I was met with a blinding light.<p>

"Oh my God, Mom seriously?" I should have expected it. From years of living with a photographer, one would think the constant photo ops and the ungodly flash wouldn't bother me anymore. Newsflash, they still do.

"What? I needed the actual essence of this moment before you get all top model on me. Now, smile!" Mom replied as she bent down to get a good angel of me from the stairs. As annoyed as I was, I still flashed my pearly whites knowing it the picture would come out great, mom's always do.

"There happy?"

She examined the picture on her camera, and after a few more "Tilt your head this way" and "Move a little that way" she finally got her picture-perfect shot, and I was allowed to give my face a break.

"I talked to your dad last night" she stated as we both headed towards my front door. "And he agrees with me on the belly button ring."

I rolled my eyes.

"Why did you even talk to him? You and I both knew already what he would say."

"Because then it wouldn't just be me saying that I think you are too young to get one."

"Why can't you both just be normal divorced parents who say yes when the other one says no just to piss them off?"

"Because when we took you home from the hospital that made us sign a contract saying, couple or no couple, we had to give you the most unfair life possible!"

My parents were truly one of a kind. I continuously envied kids who could play their divorced parents apart because that would never happen with mine. Did they fight? Of course. Would they ever work as a couple? No way. Were they the greatest parents a kid could ever have? For sure. I'm fairly certain parenting is the only thing they could and have ever agreed about. Oh, and when one of them needs a quick 'pick me up', but I try to keep that away from my mind and ears as much as possible.

"Have I ever told you how annoying you are?"

She laughed before kissing me on the forehead." It just means I'm doing my job, kid. Now, get to school." She peered out the window." I can see Jess walking up now."

I gave her a smug smile "Yeah, yeah. Love you too."

I shut the door behind me and smiled as soon as I saw the bubbly blonde, I call my best friend, walk up to my mailbox.

"Beck!"

"Hey girl! So, are we ready for another year of teachers sucking the life out of our social lives?"

"Oh of course. Who wouldn't want to replace our daily beach days for endless hours of Geometry equations? They just wanted us to know about numbers and letters, and now they want us to know about numbers and shapes!"

"The day you and I understand math is pretty much the day Hell freezes over."

"Amen to that sister."

I had known Jessica since I was in the third grade. I've never been the type of person who needed every person to like me. I've always been content with the few people I've let into my life, and that was good enough for me. My dad has always said I'm an introvert by day, but an extrovert by night. I tend to be shy in new situations, and third grade was no exception. My previous best friend, Allison, had moved away the summer before and I started the school year off with no one at all to play with. One day during the first week of school, Jessica and I both found our way over to the reading corner. While I actually liked to read, Jess was more interested in using the book as a way to cover her mouth as she talked to anyone she could find. Although our personalities couldn't be more different, we ended up talking about the picture of a horse on the cover of the book I had, and by the end of the day we were begging our moms to have a playdate after school. The rest was history.

"So," I spoke as I glanced her direction. "Have you decided what you are going to do with the Bryan situation?"

She gave me an exasperated look and nodded. "It's over after school. I mean, he's cute and definitely not horrible on the lips, but he is too boring."

I laughed at her casualness. "You're horrible! You have only gone on one date."

"I know! And during that date, he couldn't even keep a basic conversation. I felt like we were playing twenty questions, and the only time things got interesting was when he put his tongue down my throat."

"Such a loving and meaningful description."

She smiled innocently. "Hey, you can never say your best friend wasn't honest with you."

"This is very true. Besides you know you don't want to start the year chained down anyways."

"Exactly! See, I knew I kept you around for good reasons."

I hit her side playfully. "Haha, very funny. Well Jess, welcome back among the single group. It is very non-exclusive and even if you don't try you can still stay in here for eternity." I held up my right hand in scout's position. "Rebecca Thompson, life-long member."

Now it was my turn to get hit.

"Beck, I told you I could easily hook you up with someone."

"And I told you that there is no way in hell I'm having you set me up with someone."

She nudged me with her shoulder, smiling wide. "Well, he was cute at least. Come on! Let me get you a big 'D'!"

I cackled at my proper best friend as I felt a vibration with the familiar tune of my ringtone sounding. I checked the caller id before cringing at the irony of the conversation I was having.

"A. I will never place who I lose my virginity in your hands, and B. it's my dad and if you say anything while I'm on the phone you're dead."

She gave a hearty laugh as I answered the phone. "Hi Daddy."

"Hey sweetheart. What's so funny?"

I felt myself stumbling over my words as I tried to figure out how to even answer his question. "Um...Jess was just talking about dog, a big, funny dog."

I looked up at the sky after thinking about my absurd reasoning, and Jess' laughter just became harder.

I could hear my dad chuckle into the phone, "A dog? Well, by all means if at fifteen a dog can make you guys laugh that hard, I'm all for it."

I rolled my eyes at my father's reasoning, but was eternally grateful that he bought it.

I nervously giggled. "Yeah, ok daddy. Why are you up this early? You usually don't get to the site until ten."

"We have to show what we have so far to the architects today so I wanted to come in early to check all the last minute things. And of course I had to wish my perfect daughter a good first day of school."

"Well, of course! It's not like I'm your only daughter or anything like that."

"Of course, Beck. Are you-" I heard voices in the background, and could hear the tone of stress enter my dad's voice as I imagined he pushed his hair back. "How the hell did that happen? Goddamnit, alright just give me a minute. Bec?"

I smiled at the tone of voice my dad was using, afraid of disappointing me by having to end our call short. "It's fine daddy. Good luck and I'll see you after school."

"You're the best. Have a great day, kiddo. Love you."

"Love you too." I heard faint voices of yelling before the phone was disconnected. My dad had been a contractor since I was born, and I already knew the drill of it all. When architects came in, you answered as swiftly as a doctor did to a patient.

"Dog? Really Becca?"

My train of thought was lost as I glared at my best friend.

"I hate you."

"Hey, it's not my fault you are the worst liar in the world."

"Yeah, well if things would have went south I would have had to endure an even more awkward conversation than the period talk, and you would have been brought right down with me."

"Oh Gosh, I remember the night you called me up about that. Priceless."

"I'm glad one of the most embarrassing moments of my life amuses you so much."

When I was 12, even more awkward than I am now thanks to puberty, I got my first period. The only minor issue to this was the fact that I was wearing white shorts, at a basketball game, with my dad first noticing the 'ketchup stain', as he thought it was, on the seat of my shorts. To say the ride home is a memory both of us would be glad to forget is an understatement.

Jess put her arm around me. "That's what best friends are for, right? And now the place that we will undeniably have tons more cringe worthy experiences."

I looked up to see the tan and brown buildings that would take away 35 hours of my week for the next nine months.

"Oh yay, High School. I've missed you terribly."

"I'm way too overjoyed over the amount of times we are going to play an icebreaker today."

"Or have to come up with three interesting facts about yourself knowing one of them is going to involve your favorite color."

"Or be expected to take a quiz on everything we were supposed to learn last year, but didn't."

I nodded in agreement.

"We are officially back. Tell me, why couldn't we have been born two years earlier so that we would be seniors right now?"

"Because our parents still have the ability to torture us from afar."

We both giggled at the as we headed onto the campus ready to conquer anything that would be thrown at us, well at least the overwhelming flood of syllabuses we would receive today.


End file.
